There are so many cases regarding people finding out about cutters. For whatever reason they will see that cut but, I really want to know is it possible that maybe we want people to find out? Somewhere along the cutting spree do we mess up on purpose? Is this our way of asking for help?
I must ask myself did I want to keep my secret forever? Does any of us want to keep that secret or do we secretly wish for someone to see that cut, that one cut that will let us know that help is on the way.
Did I want people to find out about my cutting? Is it possible that I did mess up on purpose and that I wore cuts on certain places to have someone figure out my secret? Was that day that I put myself in the hospital an accident or a semi sub-conscious way of seeking help? Did I secretly want to stop cutting? If yes why after all is revealed was I still cutting myself?
Somewhere along the line I feel that maybe we do mess up on purpose and that we are forced to do something drastic in order to seek help. We are forced to go to the extreme simply because no one noticed how fucked up we are.
Sleep, sleep, sleep.
Slumber till it all goes away.
Sleep till all your problems have disappeared.
Remain in that dormant state till your world of troubles passes you by.
Stay entombed in that dream land.
Feeling that urge? Give yourself a moment to think with a Glitter Jar.
“Tears are words that need to be written.”
“Do I deserve credit
for not having tried suicide
or am I afraid
the exotic act
will make me blunder,
not knowing error
is remedied by practice,
as our first home-photographs,
headless, half-headed, tilting
extinguished by a flashbulb?”
I look at you no matter where I am,
An unsettled spirit.
Always wishing to be somewhere else
No matter where I am or who I am with
I am never satisfied.